released September 16, 2022

Side One:
Wayne Hayes Blues (2:50)
Rebecca Armstrong: Vocal
Peter Gordon: Vocal
Jill Kroesen: Vocal, Hammond Organ
Bill Laswell: Bass
George Lewis: Trombone
Tony Machine: Tama Drums
David Van Tieghem: Percussion

Josh Harris, Jean Ristori, David Stone: Engineers
Recorded at Right Track and Aquarius Studios

I Am Not Seeing That You Are Here (4:50)
Peter Gordon: Sax
Jill Kroesen: Vocal, Congas
Bill Laswell: Bass
George Lewis: Trombone
Tony Machine: Tama Drums

Josh Harris, Jean Ristori, David Stone: Engineers
Recorded at Right Track and Aquarius Studios

Ride Your Pony (3:12)*
Don Christensen: Drums
Peter Gordon: Prophet 5, Organ, Sax, Vocal
Jody Harris: Guitar
Jill Kroesen: Vocal, Percussion
Bill Laswell: Bass
Larry Saltzman: Guitar

Kurt Munkacsi, Jean Ristori: Engineers
Recorded at Big Apple Studios (New York City) and Aquarius Studios

Honey, You’re So Mean (4:07)
Jill Kroesen: Vocal, Piano

Jean Ristori: Engineer
Recorded at Aquarius Studios

I’m Sorry I’m Such A Weenie (2:55)
Peter Gordon: Sax mouthpiece
Jill Kroesen: Clavinet
Bill Laswell: Bass
George Lewis: Trombone
Tony Machine: Tama Drums
David Van Tieghem: Percussion

Josh Harris, Jean Ristori, David Stone: Engineers
Recorded at Right Track and Aquarius Studios

I Am Not Seeing That You Are Here (reprise) (2:03)
Jill Kroesen: Vocal, Congas
Bill Laswell: Bass
Fred Maher: Drums

Jean Ristori: Engineer
Recorded at Aquarius Studios

Alexander The Great (2:39)
Jill Kroesen: Vocal, Piano

Jean Ristori: Engineer
Recorded at Aquarius Studios




Side Two:

Fay Shism Blues (9:22)
Peter Gordon: String Ensemble, Clavinet, Sax, Hammond Organ
Jill Kroesen: Vocal, Piano
Bill Laswell: Sax
Tony Machine: Tama Drums
Fred Maher: Guitar
Arthur Russell: Cello
Fred Smith: Bass
“Blue” Gene Tyranny: Piano

Jay Burnett, Josh Harris, Jean Ristori, David Van Tieghem: Engineers
Recorded at Sundragon (New York City), Right Track and Aquarius Studios

I’m Just Being A Human Being (6:28)
Jill Kroesen: Vocal, Piano

Jean Ristori: Engineer
Recorded at Aquarius Studios

You Really Got A Hold On Me (previously unissued) (3:40)**
Peter Gordon, producer
Jill Kroesen, vocal and piano


Side Three:

I Really Want To Bomb You (5:39)
Peter Gordon: Keyboards, Reeds
Tony Machine: Drums
Jill Kroesen: Piano, Vocal, Hamond Organ
Arthur Russell: Cello
Fred Smith: Bass

Produced by Peter Gordon and Jay Burnett
Arranged by Peter Gordon and Jill Kroesen
Recorded at Sundragon & Right Track

Freak Of Nature (5:57)
Peter Gordon: Keyboards, Reeds
Tony Machine: Drums
Jill Kroesen: Piano, Vocal, Hamond Organ
Arthur Russell: Cello
Fred Smith: Bass

Produced by Peter Gordon and Jay Burnett
Recorded at Sundragon & Right Track

The Celebration of S&M (previously unissued) (5:33)
Peter Gordon: Producer, Sax, Synth
Jill Kroesen: Vocals, Organ
George Lewis: Trombone
Bill Laswell: Bass
David Van Tieghem: Drums


Sweet Sanity (previously unissued) (3:08)
Joe Hannan: Piano, Choir Master
Tim Schellenbaum: Bass
David Van Tieghem: Chorus and Percussion
Beth Anderson, Rebecca Armstrong, Maryann Bakia, Eric Barsness,
Joe Hannan, Marilyn Perez and Ned Sublette: Chorus


Side Four:

Fuck Off (previously unissued) (2:57)
Jill Kroesen: Vocals, Casio and Congas
Bill Laswell: Bass
Thi-Linh Le: Casio

St. Bridges (previously unissued) (6:00)
Peter Gordon: Producer
Jill Kroesen: Vocal, Piano
Rebecca Armstrong: Back-up Vocals

Broken Wing (previously unissued) (10:11)
Peter Gordon, producer
Jill Kroesen, vocals, piano

Invited To Heaven (previously unissued) (1:34)
Jill Kroesen: Vocals
Joe Hannan: Piano, Choir Master
Tim Schellenbaum: Bass
Beth Anderson, Rebecca Armstrong, Maryann Bakia, Eric Barsness,
Joe Hannan, Marilyn Perez and Ned Sublette: Chorus
David Van Tieghem: Chorus and Percussion

CD ONLY:
I’m Not Seeing That You Are Here (alternate instrumental) (2:33)
Peter Gordon: Producer, Sax
Jill Kroesen: Congas
Bill Laswell: Bass
Fred Maher: Drums

Napoleon (previously unissued) (4:31)
Peter Gordon: Producer
Jill Kroesen: Vocal
“Blue” Gene Tyranny: Piano

Alexander The Great (electronic version) (2:03)
Jill Kroesen: Vocal
Thi-Linh Le: Casio

Love Is Like Poison (previously unissued) (3:18)
Jill Kroesen: Vocal
Tim Schellenbaum: Bass
Jay Millar: Arranger

Fuck Off Instrumental (previously unissued) (4:17)
Jill Kroesen: Congas, Snare Drum
Bill Laswell: Bass
Thi-Linh Le: Casio


All songs Jill Kroesen © Seed Soup Songs, ASCAP except * writer for A3 their publisher ** writer and publisher for B3. All tracks side one and tracks 1-2 on side two, originally issued as Stop Vicious Cycles (Lovely Music, Ltd. – VR 1501, 1982) Tracks 1-2 on side three originally issued as Infidelity JMB-747, 1980. All other tracks previously unissued.

Bill Laswell (Bass on tracks A1, A2, A5, A6)
Tony Machine (Drums on tracks: A1, A2, A5, B1)
Jill Kroesen (Piano on tracks: A4, A7, B1, B2)
Peter Gordon (Producer A1-A7, B1-B3 and Saxophone on tracks A2, A3, A5, B1)
George Lewis (Trombone on tracks: A1, A2, A5)
Jill Kroesen Vocals, Producer
David Van Tierghem (Percussion on A1,

Special thanks to my Dad, Joe Kroesen, my teacher, Robert Ashley and my inspiration, Bob Dylan for encouraging the little girl who never spoke to become an artist who sang whatever the fuck she wanted really loud!!

This album is dedicated to Peter Gordon without whom none of this would have ever been recorded and to Joe Hannan who always had my back.

CD version
Disc One:
Wayne Hayes Blues (2:50)
I Am Not Seeing That You Are Here (3:00)
Ride Your Pony (3:12)*
Honey, You’re So Mean (4:07)
I’m Sorry I’m Such A Weenie (2:55)
I Am Not Seeing That You Are Here (reprise) (2:03)
Alexander The Great (2:39)
Fay Shism Blues (extended version) (10:16)
I’m Just Being A Human Being (6:28)
You Really Got A Hold On Me (previously unissued) (3:40)**
I’m Not Seeing That You Are Here (alternate instrumental) (2:33)
Napoleon (previously unissued) (4:31)

Disc Two:
I Really Want To Bomb You (5:39)
Freak Of Nature (5:57)
The Celebration of S&M (previously unissued) (5:33)
Sweet Sanity (previously unissued) (3:08)
Fuck Off (previously unissued) (2:57)
St. Bridges (previously unissued) (6:00)
Broken Wing (previously unissued) (10:11)
Invited To Heaven (previously unissued) (1:34)
Alexander The Great (electronic version) (2:03)
Love Is Like Poison (previously unissued) (3:18)
Fuck Off Instrumental (previously unissued) (4:17)

Jill Kroesen Vocals, Producer, Piano on disc one tracks 4, 7, 8, 9, Organ on disc one track 1, disc two tracks 1, 2, Percussion on disc one track 5, Congas on disc one tracks 2, 6, Clavinet on disc one track 5
Peter Gordon (Producer on disc one tracks 1-9, disc two tracks 1, 2, Saxophone on disc one tracks 2, 3, 5, 8, Background vocal disc one tracks 1,3, Organ on disc one tracks 3, 8, synthesizer on disc one track 3, Arranger, Keyboards and Reeds on disc two tracks 1, 2)
Bill Laswell (Bass on disc one tracks 1, 2, 5, 6, Saxophone on disc one track 8)
Fred Smith (Bass on disc one track 8, disc two tracks 1, 2)
Arthur Russell (Cello on disc one track 8, disc two tracks 1, 2)
“Blue” Gene Tyranny (Piano on disc one track 8)
Jay Burnett (Producer and Engineer on disc two tracks 1, 2)
Tony Machine (Drums on disc one tracks 1, 2, 5, 8, disc two tracks 1, 2)
George Lewis (Trombone on disc one tracks 1, 2, 5)
David Van Tierghem (Percussion on disc one tracks 1, 5)
Rebecca Armstrong (Background vocals on disc one track 1)
Don Christiansen (Drums on disc one track 3)
Jody Harris (Guitar on disc one track 3
Larry Saltzman (Guitar on disc one track 3
Fred Maher (Drums on disc one track 6)


All songs Jill Kroesen © Seed Soup Songs, ASCAP except * XXXXX and ** XXXXXX. Disc one tracks 1-9 originally issued as Stop Vicious Cycles (Lovely Music, Ltd. – VR 1501, 1982) Disc two tracks 1-2 originally issued as Infidelity JMB-747, 1980. All other tracks previously unissued.

Art & design: Jon Hunt
​Front and back cover photos by ​Paula Court
Mastered by Joe Lizzi
Compilation produced by Jay Millar and Jill Kroesen
Project managed by Brian Thompson
Special thanks to Lynda and Ellen Kahn, Joan Durand, and Don Hunerberg

(p) 2022 Modern Harmonic • modernharmonic.com • Manufactured under license from Jill Kroesen.





There are three things to know about Jill Kroesen.
She has an uncanny way of spotting trends and influences.
She has great hair.
She might be a genius.

During the 1970s and 80s, she was a card carrying member of the New York downtown art scene. She studied experimental music at Mills College in Oakland, California with Robert Ashley. She moved east to continue her interests. Combining music, performance, and cabaret, she almost immediately gained a reputation for quirky, smart pieces.

While her interests were expressed in these theatrical musical pieces, she was interested mostly in systems, and patterns as a way to make sense of a nonsensical world.She named them system portraits. This was a fairly prescient idea- corporations were just becoming entities, the Berlin Wall had not fallen, and the world was recuperating from the summer of love, the killings at Kent State, and the hostages of the Achille Lauro. CNN, formed in 1980, gave us the 24 hour news cycle, which contributed to the rate of information about the world going faster and faster.

Her epic pieces, from which these songs come, “Fay Shism Began in the Home”, “Stanley Oil and His Mother”, “ Lou and Walter” and “Excuse me I feel Like Multiplying”, all have similar through lines. While the world her characters inhabit are slightly dystopic, there is also a sweetness to them.

To say that Jill has an original point of view is to understate the facts. She creates worlds and societies that confront politics, war, sex, love, greed, gender politics, and socioeconomic disparities. These viewpoints, though, are decidedly girly.
Which is not to say that they are deficient in incisive views, or not serious. It is a POV that we hadn’t seen before. And it was very modern.

“I really want to bomb you “ is seen as an attempt of a would be lover to capture the other, instead of a song between warring nations, USSR and USA.
What made her performances so powerful is her beguiling persona. With her rouged cheeks, and under eye eyeliner and colored lipstick, she is a seductive sorceress.

Her voice is large, unique, and charismatic. Her presence is charming and flirty. One can’t help but be drawn in. When she sings about fascism and dictators and bad boyfriends, the audience almost blushes. The songs are authentic, and there is always a shock of recognition.

Coupling sex with political faux pas and corruption helps explain the world to her, and to the audience. Fay Shism Blues speaks of the leader that is the prettiest girl you have ever seen and that is why it is so easy to fall in love with her as a dictator. She uses us as a lover at night and sends us to jail or worse, in the morning without a moment’s thought. And yet the dictator has a soft spot. Again, her viewpoint examines this from a female point of view. And it is fresh.

When she is performing the solo version of Lou and Walter, it is just her on stage. A microphone, a piano, and a staged vision of hell.

As she sings and plays with her fabulous hair, she appears fragile and vulnerable. But as she wraps her hand around the microphone with such confidence you know she is not even close to being a delicate flower.

When She sings, “ I really want to
bomb you ( full disclosure, I was privileged enough to help coproduce this 45) where targeted missiles create surrender, decisions about the lives of citizens will be decided through sex, she equates heinous acts of war as a consequence of being an ugly girl.

And this is where I believe Jill Kroesen in a genius. Remember the person who said it always comes back to high school? Well, in Jill’s created worlds, it always comes back to love. Her work explores the connection between Thanatos and Eros (Death and Love) and the tense hand holding these two share. In songs like “Love is like Poison,”Fay Shism Blues” the fragile heartbreak she sings about that often feels like a small death is 1- relatable on a myriad of levels, 2-a brilliant way to address serious topics head on and 3- adds to the ongoing discussion about the relationship between love and death that many philosophers were interested in during the seventies and eighties. Jill also became interested in psychohistory and went to their meetings and did the readings to educate herself on how humans work and what dire consequences can occur by simply being alive.


And yet, she is also hilarious. She sings the song “ Fuck Off” from 1981 and I am certain every woman in the audience who ever wanted to run away from home nods their head and understands the feelings Jill exuberantly sings about.” I am not seeing that you are here” is almost anthemic in its disregard for the lover she dumped.” “Honey, you’re so mean “examines that exquisite heartbreak “ I’m so ashamed I’m still around”. Modern love in a 4/4 beat.
The nature of relationships is deftly and knowingly explored in her songs and that recognition of truth is a shock. We are so much more informed these days, but before computers, before email, before cell phones and texting, this was heady stuff to see in a theatre. Additionally, what was then presented as a somewhat “other time” has slowly become more real and seeps into the present tense. It aids dramatically in our understanding and fear of current systems.

What also comes clear in the records, that gets blurred a bit during the live performances, is that the music is surprisingly sophisticated. The Afro beats, the congas, the piano on the songs all combine to show Jill to be a superb musician as well. And then there is the voice.

The, throaty voice that sings about these topics provides almost a disconnect. When she covers “You really got a hold on me” it’s a spin that makes it sound like you have never heard it before.

When I began thinking about these notes, I thought of Jill like one thinks of haute couture. When it first appears, there are dozens of new ideas, and clothes that are impractical to wear, but are made of sumptuous fabrics and are beautiful.

As time goes on, these articles of clothing provide influences to younger designers about particular choices that begin to make the clothing more wearable.

And finally, they become classic and timeless, and their importance is raised to icon status. And so it is with Jill and her work. When it first premiered and she spoke about plagues, and domination, and societies of oppressed people and women scorned it did seem to be emblematic of what she calls “System portraits.” Her system portraits are a brilliant way to navigate meaning. Giving a human status to corporations and governments and viruses (!) not only makes them comprehensible to Kroesen, but to us, the audience as well. And they are amazingly timely.

Debbe Goldstein (artrep-dg.com)